Building Trust: How Parents Can Support Their Teenagers' Mental Health
Have You Noticed Changes In Your Teenager Lately?
Maybe they've become more withdrawn, or perhaps you're finding it increasingly difficult to have meaningful conversations with them. You're not alone. Many parents find themselves wondering how to best support their teens during these crucial years of emotional and psychological development.
Understanding Your Teen's Perspective
The teenage years bring a plethora of changes and challenges. Your teen might be experiencing:
Intense emotions they're learning to process
Pressure from school and social life
A strong desire for independence
Uncertainty about their identity and future
Complex social dynamics, both online and offline
These experiences are normal parts of adolescent development, but they can be overwhelming for both teens and parents. Understanding your teenager's perspective is the first step in building a supportive relationship.
Why Teens Might Be Hesitant to Open Up
Many teenagers find it challenging to share their feelings with parents. They might worry about:
Being judged or misunderstood
Having their concerns dismissed as "just a phase"
Losing privileges or freedom
Disappointing their parents
Having their privacy violated
Recognizing these concerns can help you approach conversations with greater empathy and understanding.
Building Trust: Essential Strategies
Here are several ways to strengthen your relationship with your teenager:
1. Create Safe Spaces for Communication
Choose casual settings for conversations (like car rides or walks)
Avoid immediately jumping into problem-solving mode
Listen more than you speak
Maintain calm even when discussing difficult topics (for example take a deep breath before responding)
2. Respect Their Growing Independence
Ask for their opinion on family decisions
Allow them to make age-appropriate choices
Respect their privacy (while maintaining appropriate safety boundaries)
Acknowledge their developing maturity
3. Show Authentic Interest
Learn about their interests without judgment
Ask questions about their world
Stay engaged even when topics seem trivial to you (they may have deeper significance to them than you realize)
Share appropriate parts of your own teenage experiences
Practical Ways to Show Support
Consider implementing these strategies in your daily interactions:
1. Start with Small Moments
Take advantage of natural opportunities for connection, whether it's making breakfast together or sharing a quick chat before bedtime. These casual interactions often lead to deeper conversations.
2. Practice Active Listening
Put away your phone when they're talking
Make eye contact
Ask clarifying questions
Reflect back what you've heard
Avoid interrupting or lecturing
3. Validate Their Feelings
When your teen shares their struggles, resist the urge to immediately fix the situation. Instead, try responses like:
"That sounds really difficult."
"I can see why you'd feel that way."
"I appreciate you sharing this with me."
4. The Digital Connection
Today's teens live in a highly connected world. To better understand and support them:
Learn about their social media platforms (without demanding access)
Discuss online experiences with curiosity rather than judgment
Help them develop healthy digital boundaries
Stay informed about current trends affecting teens
When to Seek Professional Help
While building trust and open communication is crucial, sometimes teens need additional support. Consider reaching out to a mental health professional if you notice:
Persistent changes in mood or behavior
Significant changes in sleeping or eating patterns
Withdrawal from activities they usually enjoy
Declining academic performance
Expressions of hopelessness or worthlessness
Moving Forward Together
Remember that building trust with your teenager is an ongoing journey that requires patience, consistency, and understanding. There will be ups and downs, but maintaining a supportive presence makes a lasting difference in your teen's life.
If you're concerned about your teenager's mental health or would like guidance on supporting their emotional well-being, we're here to help. Our experienced counselors specialize in adolescent mental health and family relationships.
Dr. Philip B. Gnilka is the Clinical Director and Founder of Sequoia Counseling Group, a boutique mental health practice that serves clients in Las Vegas, NV. His experience as a tenured professor in mentoring students about counseling approaches and theories reinforced his passion for helping individual clients directly. He specializes in anxiety, stress management, and perfectionism.