Five Coping Strategies For Adults With Social Anxiety Disorder.
Social Anxiety And Adults - More Common Than You Think!
Many think that social anxiety disorder is only something that children and teenagers suffer from. You will hear comments that they “grow out of it” or “get over it” as they continue to get older. You will find a large amount of information and advice On the web for children and teens suffering from social anxiety disorder. But not for adults.
Why not for adults? This is much less talked about and many adults with social anxiety feel shame about disclosing it to others. If you feel you are suffering from social anxiety, see if any of these symptoms fit for you.
fear of being judged by others in social situations
avoidance of social situations that may cause anxiety
unavoidable social situations are endured with anxiety and even fear
worry about social events even before they happen
ruminate about what went wrong during a social event after it has ended
social situations can result in you turning red, increased heart rate, and sweating to same a few.
This is not an exhaustive list but should get you started thinking about it for yourself. Many adults note three phases of social anxiety:
anticipatory phase
actual exposure to the social event
post event processing
These stages show how much time and energy is used not only during social situations but before and after them as well. Many adults who suffer from social anxiety have a very difficult time controlling their anxiety before, during, and after social events.
While it might feel you’re one of the few adults suffering, you’re not. Recent studies suggest approximately 12% of the adult population will experience social anxiety disorder sometime during their lives.
If you find yourself suffering from social anxiety as an adult, try these five coping strategies.
Avoid alcohol and other drugs during social situations.
While you may think it helps temporarily in social situations, it won’t help retrain your brain to be less anxious over the long term. Also, you might actually be more embarrassing due to being under the influence then you think! So give it a pause.
Face your fears.
The longer you avoid them and the anxiety attached, the deeper the anxiety will become. On a piece of paper, draw a ladder with the bottom rung being something you could do with mild discomfort (e.g., say good morning to a stranger or asking for directions) and the top rung being something that seems impossible for you currently socially (e.g., ask someone on a date in person or giving a speech in front of an audience). Between the low and top rungs, put other social situations that gradually become more anxious for you. Then, come up with a plan to gradually expose yourself to some of these situations.
Shift the focus from yourself to others.
In many cases, you find yourself more focused on your physiological reactions (I’m sweating and everyone sees that; my heart rate is increasing) that you lose track of the conversation (Wait what were we talking about? I phased out and am now lost!). That leads to increased anxiety resulting in a negative feedback loop. So try to stay more focused on the actual content of the conversation rather than your own reactions.
Learn to control your breathing.
This sounds simplistic but is actually extremely helpful to calm your body and mind. There are a lot of breathing techniques out there, so try a few until you find one you like.
Challenge negative thought patterns.
Do you catch yourself thinking “I’m sweating and must look like an idiot” or “I don’t have anything to say and clearly the other person can’t wait to get away from me”? Well, this type of negative thinking is a main contributor to your anxious feelings. How and what we think about can have a profound influence on our emotions.
If you have several negative thoughts that commonly come up before, during, and after social situations, write them down. Then try to come up with a rebuttal that is more empowering and realistic. Keep those statements on an index card (or on your phone) and look at them whenever your negative thoughts come up. Eventually, you’ll start to change them.
Don’t let social anxiety control your life any longer.
These are just some examples of ways you can cope with your social anxiety. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or not sure where to start, it might be worth looking into counseling for social anxiety. Our counselors have experience with multiple evidenced-based approaches to helping you start getting relief. Don’t wait and reach out now with any questions you have or schedule a complimentary 15-minute consultation.
Dr. Philip B. Gnilka is the Clinical Director and Founder of Sequoia Counseling Group, a boutique mental health practice that serves clients in Las Vegas, NV. His experience as a tenured professor in mentoring students about counseling approaches and theories reinforced his passion for helping individual clients directly. He specializes in anxiety, stress management, and perfectionism.